How did we get here in the first place ? This question is not a simple one. It involves looking at the events in our lives that molded us. This narrative is not often heard, it is not a popular one in the kink community, which is great on escapism but personal accountability can be lacking. . Since engaging in acts society might seem as deviant behavior creates certain stigmas, anything that points in a direction to perhaps people diagnosed with bi-polar disorder might have a higher chance of engaging in risky sexual behaviors , Much like the drug addicts and alcoholics are self-medicating their own issues.
We are here to find a solution. Solutions can only be found by acknowledging the problem. If I was to trace back what got me into BDSM, we might look at the images currently fetishized and trace them backwards. To this day I fetishize the imagery. Wonder Woman’s breasts bulging against her bonds after being chained to a phallic rocket ship . However, need always comes first . There has to be the need for empowerment that started before this. You might see where this train is going, you have started to think.
“But wait I do not want to get into the therapy of this I just want to do this because I am curious if BDSM feels good.” or you might be a dabbler who says “I just do it because it feels good”
This is the definition of the term vanilla. I do not care if you are an experienced Shibari rope bunny, if you do it because it feels good, that it is vanilla. Vanilla is the equivalent to a muggle when it comes to magic. It is a pedestrian state , a tourist or even a poseur. I think muggle is the most fitting comparison, since I feel that magic is based on focused intention. Doing things without intent is a state of sleepwalking.
If this hurts your childish feelings , then it is time for you to wake up. By wake up I do not mean that in terms of the Millennial phrase “woke”. They are still sleeping because whatever fashionable political rumor or opinion they read on social media is taken as fact, with society too lazy to look elsewhere for answers. That state of wakefulness is still asleep in requiring no searching inward to find what resonates as truth, after being tempered with multiple perspectives and research.
Western society is centered on instant gratification. They want what they want when they want it. BDSM as we know it today came from the gay leather scene. The lifestyle encompasses many expressions of sexuality. Participants are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or falling into one of the many mixtures of sexuality and gender seen today. I am all for every combination of this. On the kinsey scale I fall into the more butch side of bi-sexual .I tend to dominate men more than I engage in them sexually . We do not believe in right or wrong. I do not believe in good for evil. .I believe things are either effective or ineffective. It works or it does not work. If something doesn’t work it does not mean the problem is the action taking, it might just not be the most effective action for the situation .
So if you are looking to find the most effective way to break out of ineffective patterns and dig into core issues in order to ground yourself back into your true self, feel free to contact us. When contacting us via Facebook, give us specific questions or just say and let us know what you are into.
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