This Way to Sub-Space

  As a top, it is important to get a verbal agreement at the beginning of each scene to make sure all parties are in a place where they can consent. Not drunk or on mind altering drugs. Unconscious means no consent. With protocol formalized there should be a clear-cut understanding of what is going to happen. Some these days still argue a signed contract doesn’t mean consent. Here we must be clear with you… if both parties have sat down and gone through a full negotiation and repeat back to one another the terms as they understand them and are unable to commit to what they agreed to do then this is not something that is an effective avenue for you. You need to focus on other forms of therapy until you are healthy enough to communicate in a fashion where your yes means yes and your no means no.  

Another bait and switch can occur in the general dynamic of d/s relationships at times. Some people are not always forthright or self-aware in their motives.  Structure and by laws can be laid out and still the other party will cast you in a fantasy role they want you to play and leave you as the last to know. This is often not revealed until you have refused to take on the role, they assigned you. This brings us back to my mantra of “I might be crazy, but I am not a mind reader”

If either party fails to express their needs and wants, they only have themselves to blame. That is why once an agreement is made, unless this is an organic dating / romantic relationship with established trust and boundaries it is a good idea to get them to sign off on the mission statement / purpose of intent. 

 

Subspace is much like the female orgasm. Many partners do NOT achieve it since they do not last long enough. It can be induced for shorter bursts of more intense play. Initially that is not the level of play we are going to start with. Going forward in the coming posts we will focus on the science of this process. 

 

Eventually we will get to a more intense program of action for the sake of looking at what actions create this subspace state. This is not the level of play we feel works best for therapy at the onset of using BDSM as your chosen form of healing. So, we are not going to start there. We offer remote sessions, the focus is trust, openness and grounding you in your own body. If you are dissociated from yourself, you first need to find a baselevel of grounding in your own skin before an in-person face to face session with us or anyone.

 

If this is something you have further questions regarding or want to apply for a trial remote session, feel free to contact us. Only direct and specific questions and requests will be answered, if you are unsure what you want message us with “I am unsure what I want but I am interested” any other forms will be replied to as you can imagine the levels of weirdness we get in this regard. Thanks for reading!