The Truth of the Community

 The world is a troubled and divided place right now. That is if you choose to participate in engaging the popular mindsets of the day. This had begun to infect the BDSM community even back in 2017, one of our good Doctor was talking to an owner of a Dungeon in Alabama, who made a comment to the effect  that people who were not of his political leaning should not be at conventions like Frolicon. To which the good Doctor replied, that perhaps the people this man disliked needed the therapeutic value of his as much as he did, adding that BDSM should be open to all people regardless of their political or personal views, after one can not ask for a safe space that excludes others or the are just as guilty of marginalizing other as they have felt marginalized. 

We have also heard complaints that certain groups are not equally represented at events , which we pointed out perhaps it is because of cultural differences. Particularly in cultures where religion plays a hug role in community. Perhaps it is not the picture of a politically correct utopia you hoped for, but the facts are the facts and the real world does not always align with your idealistic view of it. So we steer clear of social or political positions as to be honest, most of us here at Sub-Space Station believe politics are as real as professional wrestling so while we try to stay informed, we do not invest much mental space into which puppet is having their strings pulled. 

We do however take a stand when certain organizations try  to push politics or personal agendas aligned with how they have invested their public persona trying to adhere to popular narratives. This is why we pulled out of our appearance at Frolicon in Atlanta, and are not planning to partner with them until they can assure us they are no longer engaging in such behavior, which chances are they will instead double down and we will deal with other conventions less compelled to do this. The most recent incident involved requiring proof of vaccination after COVID has been in the rear view for over a year. This means you are not concerned for anyone's safety your are choosing to alienate members of the community, while preaching body autonomy in every other regard. 

Granted Frolicon has never been big on wanting to focus on mental health and siding with the hedonistic party naked crowd, which we are not opposed to partying, as long as it is not done in a addictive or self destructive manner, but at the end of the day you can ingest whatever chemicals you choose be it cocaine or a vaccine the choice is your as an adult. You accept the consequences or doing so or not doing so. This means we also get to reserve the right to make the same choices. We do see health as being a concern in the community only when it's convenient. We witnessed a great deal of preaching a-top soapboxes from people who have allowed their physical states to decline from alcohol consumption or self medicating with junk food, which is there choice, but if they are leading a lifestyle that is ineffective from a health perspective how seriously should their point of view be taken in that regard. It's like a personal trainer who does not work out themselves. 

The reason we bring this up is to clarify what we are looking for in the attitudes and outlooks of people we are working with, we welcome everyone as long as they have a sincere desire to do the work. Political beliefs do not matter to us, what does is commitment to doing the work to be healthier mentally and physically. We have turned away potential prospects, because they need to get healthier physically, be it diet or exercise before they dig into the work we are doing here. It's not to exclude anyone but you can't get into the 2nd grade without making it through Kindergarten and first grade. If you have questions regarding what we do and would like free Zoom consultation , feel free to contact us, but be aware there is a screening process to see if you are in the best place to start with this phase of development. 

Freeing the Mind

 We are outlining a 13 phase program of interactive exercises aimed at meeting the previously stated objectives. The end goal being to  reunite all the broken pieces of yourself into a person that is whole and empowered. This will either allow the whole person to feel safe enough to submit another or allow themselves to take power back and take control. We will most commonly talk from the perspective of a top., but since these are two very different sides, each of the 13 phases will be outlined in a way that shows both sides the submissive/ bottom or the dominant / top. Are there variations of this like switches and power bottoms? Yes . You might feel free to identify yourself as one. The objective here is to be direct and honest with what you want when communicating with others in this setting .It will be up to you to pick which one you want to try. If you want to try both, that is your business, We will not  yuck any ones yum. What matters most is you do it.  

We have had  partners who liked the idea of BDSM in theory or the fantasy of, but when it was actually applied the reality was not something they could swing. Our teenage selves might have called these people  poseurs. Perhaps that is not totally off base. This is the only time we are going to bring this book up. Most people in the lifestyle meet the mention  with eye rolls and snickering.But , thanks to the thing that was “ 50 Shades of Gray” , for a couple years there were a good deal of tourists floating through this world .

Everyone has an entry point. That book and the rather shoddy movies that followed are now almost forgotten about. There is always going to be something that puts this back into the public spotlight. At times  while dating in the vanilla world we feel like we are being used as  BDSM stunt cocks / or pussies  for these pedestrians. Nothing is going to save your time like clicking the cuffs and seeing who is serious

Just as the next subject might send some of you running off , but it can not be avoided. We could tell you all of the different boxes we might be qualified to check off when it comes to defining our  spiritual pat. The terms pagan and occultist are the most accurate. We have looked at things  from a psychological perspective now we are going to look at them from a metaphysical one. It would not be honest if we did not tell you we  approach this more often than not as a magic ritual.

  Before you shun the  word magic , replace it with the term  focused intention .This is a ritual of focused intention. We are  not going to try to sell you on the fact that magic is just undiscovered science used to focus our intention. IWe are not here to push religion , but to expand thinking. The brain is the biggest sex organ and from this point on the focus is going to be engaging it.

This would all just be good in theory unless we have science to back up what we are going for here. We are also modifying  some of the time frames that will be outlined here when it comes to BDSM sessions with the focus being on stimulating this response.  Best place to start in regards to the science of the human body would be the  central nervous system .It processes both pleasure and pain. There are 45 miles of  nerves in a human body making it an information highway. Since there is so much information being received , 99 percent of sensory input is discarded by the brain. Input has to excite the brain enough for it to sort it into the integrative or motor functions . The spinal cord is the information highway sending things to and from the body. Controlling reflex responses. In the brain the 3 major levels of the central nervous system are. 

The lower brain - subcortical level . Here along with the medulla we have the hypothalamus where things like breathing, sexual satisfaction and emotional responses are handled. Then the thalamus which renders sensory information and pain perception . Cerebellum coordinates motor/ muscular activity. Basal ganglia, while it handles motor learning and emotions if damaged it creates anhedonia and the inability to experience pleasure.

The Cortical level is the higher brain. This is a large storehouse of memory. It always functions with the lower centers of the brain. Where thought processing takes place. It is divided into four lobes, the frontal, parietal, temporal and occipital. Somatic sense are the mechanoreceptors. Sense position and tactile sensations. Touch is immediately beneath , all the above help us process pain

There are different types of pain fast and slow. Fast is at .1 seconds reaction time increases slowly. It consists of things like electric shock. Burns sharps cuts  skin, pressure , vibration, tickle, itch very sensitive . Slow takes a second or more to respond. Morre chronic, the aches and throbs associated with tissue destruction. Can lead to prolonged suffering. Occurs in skin, tissue or organ. Three types of pain stimulate the receptors. Mechanical , thermal and chemical. All three are slow nerves .  

Endorphins released by the brain and the central nervous system are going to play a large role. They are peptides released to activate the body’s opioid receptors in order to create an analgesic state, conscious but not in pain.  Dopamine is a neurotransmitter . They are the reward system. How we are wired to carry on the species. Get rewards for social interaction and rewards for reproduction. In the fight or  flight response the reproductive system increases as it is programmed to ensure the survival of the species.  Though in many cases this can turn into just rewarding ourselves in front of our computers This creates pathways so that action will be repeated to get more reward. You can see where addiction can stem from this . Too much of a good thing can occur as too much dopamine creates delusions, losing touch with reality and lack of emotion. In part two of this study we will tie this together for you so keep reading !

Bound by Actions

 We are going to talk about bdsm as a tool of healing. This requires intention and not just  doing things just because they feel good. That is a surface level band aid. This will require us to look at our roles in our lives and ask … how is this working for me ? Is this working ? 

If something is not working, why do we do it ? Here lies the essence of compulsion. It does not care about the end result. That is why we go back to ineffective behavior even after the consequences of these actions tell us they are not working. We become obsessed with the very act. That does sound a lot like a fetish. The difference is a fetish has the power we give it. A compulsion takes power from us. We are making different choices to take back the power.

That sounds good in theory you say , but not everyone has that kind of willpower or resolve. They might not be as strong as you, maybe they do not know better. If you are reading this you now  know better.  If we use David Bowie as the bullseye musicians should aim for then it is reasonable to expect others will at least try to make music of his quality. This is under the notion that all people are created equal. As equals David Bowie would have  no other advantage at the base level than any other musician. He made music for 40 years and never made an album that was not what he set out to do or  did not stand up against his body of work. You can make the excuse that it's David Bowie  and it is not fair to compare others to him. If everyone is created equal then he was just a man, another human who harnessed his talents to do so . He just did so with more focus and intention than the next flop from the flavor of the day. 

You can do that in your life if you stop making excuses. There is a saying in 12 step culture that says “ If you are sick and tired  of being sick and tired you can try our way of life.a chance.

We are going to outline a  13 phase program of interactive exercises aimed at meeting the previously stated objectives . This will reunite  all the broken pieces of yourself into a person that is whole and empowered to either allow themselves to submit another or allow themselves to take power back and take control. We are going to commonly talk about this from the perspective of a top, but since these are two very different sides, each of the 13 phases will be outlined in a way that shows both sides the submissive/ bottom or the dominant / top. Are there variations of this like switches and power bottoms? Yes but the objective here is to be direct and honest with what you want when communicating with others in this setting so it will be up to you to pick which one you want to try. If you want to try both that is your business and we try not to yuck any ones yum. What matters most is you do it. 

Leashing the Freak

 Engaging in acts society might view as deviant behavior creates certain stigmas. Granted this is if you care about what society thinks of you which we are not really invested in .We do care about living effective lives. An effective life has a high degree of self awareness. Being aware of our behavior enough to ask is this something I am really into or is occurring because I am  bi-polar , thus causing me to  have a higher chance of engaging in risky sexual behaviors ,  Much like the drug addicts and alcoholics are self medicating their own issues. There are some these days who say to suggest such as gas lighting Just because someone is a medical professional it does not mean that they might have ulterior motives or factors influencing them, like drug companies. Gaslighting has become a word that has become easy to hide behind when people do not want to look at their side of the street and do the work. 

 “What you mean I have to do work, I thought I could just get tied up and it would solve all my problems” 

The  system of therapeutic BDSM we are offering here, is not a replacement for a psychiatrist or being properly medicated . It is also highly recommended processing  other issues with a therapist. This is only meant to supplement your existing mental health treatment. 

It might come  as a disappointment to someone if you have not found an easy fix to their problems through a more conventional means. If  you assumed this would be the easier way. It is not, but it might be one that resonates strongly for you where other methods have not.. It is a fun way if you think of it in terms of  dressing up in leather and putting a ball gag in your partner’s mouth. The funny thing about life is you get out of it whatever you put into it. There is no return without a big investment  

Even meds are not a magic bullet. They give you just enough gas to make it up the on ramp to life, the rest of the driving is up to you  and the actions you take. We all work on our recovery here by doing things like  going to the gym, self regulating sleep and  being mindful of the kinds of things we ingest. In the majority of the 12 step programs the commitment is to the fact you can not use a certain substance. This is inverted. We are committing to empower ourselves. We are going to  make our lives manageable  by using this outlet. 

If you are an S type used to turning power over ,  the other 12 steps saying “Surrender to Win applies here”. That is not a blind faith in whomever has DOM on their Fetlife profile. Instead, one of the things you need to learn is to raise the bar  and expect people to know what they are doing . If they are not willing to sit down and work out things like protocol with you and communicate .if not you need to able to decide that you deserve more than just someone using BDSM as a way to get laid

No Pain No Gain

 The  goal here is to reunite you with yourself. Perhaps you are hoping it will enrich your romantic relationships and open new doors of intimacy. It might do those things, but only as a side effect. Your relationship with others is contingent on the relationship with yourself. If you feel like you are in the passenger seat of your body while your illness drives you through a haze, how can you expect to be present enough for intimacy of any kind?  What we are shooting for is to feel at home in your own body. To feel present in your own skin rather than lost in a dissociative state. 

 This will hopefully  lead to adopting healthy sexual paradigms. In our experience BDSM is very grounding . The interaction helps to rebuild trust that years of fear based living can destroy. This however is not a kinder or gentler path. If you want to be coddled and told how sorry we are about your situation you are in the wrong place.

We are offering a new perspective in approaching trauma and mental illness. This requires saying things  not being said in the community at present, that need to be. In 2023 people seem to get their feelings when presented with concepts that do not neatly fall in line with the comfortable bubble of the paradigm they exist in. Going forward all girls and boys need to put on their adult undies , as there is  No Pain No Gain . 

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This was made  clear to our founder who was sitting on a panel  l at a kink convention. A so-called kink educator shot down the idea of Protocol. She said it would scare away new people. In truth in our consent based culture it needs to be the first thing  discussed once into the nuts and bolts of bdsm. If the curious and inexperienced are not shown how to engage in BDSM in a way that is safe , sane and consensual, we will find ourselves lone perverts. Today's scene tends to pander to political correctness with little  blunt honesty in fear of upsetting tender souls. And the thin skinned . Fuck your feelings , who cares if they are hurt . Here is how it is. Without it the entire concept of BDSM is threatened.. 

 One of the things not often discussed in the kink community is  the stigma of mental health. Many avoid this. It delves into  the preexisting  feelings of guilt and shame . It might smash the  heavily invested illusion that they are well adjusted .WeI know very few well adjusted people. We  find it hard to believe that your average gimp is.  Most quotes regarding BDSM studies are trying to point in the direction they are normal , well adjusted people. Studies performed by PHD students who are into BDSM and this is the narrative they want to defend. Not to say even the majority of people who engage in it are troubled. But we need to look inward to be aware of why you do what you do. This is the core of what we do here, please contact us to set up a consultation or for more information.

The Magic of Leather

 Ritual is important. In the practice of magic ritual is the action that helps set the stage for focusing one’s intention. Much like BDSM provides stimuli that harnesses a similar energy. Sex magic is a practice that combines the two, with what we are doing we are splitting the difference between the two, taking the psycho dramatics of it and making it therapeutic. Role play is something that has been a common practice in psychotherapy for years. Given Freud’s interest in the occult this should not be a surprise. 

 

What we are not doing is the surface level mistake that was big in the goth scene in the 90s where every goth night became a Fetish night, and everyone was dressed up in fetish gear, but only casually spanked each other like a bunch of school children. The costume is only an aid in ritual, not the ritual itself. I have known many goths who claim to be into BSDM, but only the fashion, that alone is vanilla as hell, and they might as well go to Sunday school instead.  

 

  As for dress, while the theater of ritual can be important, I dress more for function than fashion. Something that allows for a full range of motion. I normally stay dressed, but boxers, shorts or a kilt is preferred. I had a fetish for the smell of leather and I enjoy wearing it, leather culture is from where modern BDSM came from, but just putting it on is only part of the process, the leather scene has a very structured hierarchy and traditions that have been passed on since post World War two when the troops came home and found themselves missing the company of men, While it is rooted in gay culture, it is not only limited to gay culture, and just being a queen does npot qualify you as an expert on the subject, in fact the younger generation seems to have learned less about what was passed own to them than generations before.  

 

At the end of the day, we are creating a space from which healing might be given the intention to occur. This is about energy and doing the magic to move that energy. An example of this and how using one’s mental illness in order to do that work would be as someone who is bipolar it is my manic side that carries the healing energy. It is the more depressed side that is the more aggressive. It needs the release of top space to bring me back up towards my higher self. Top space is the focused flow. It is more like my manic state when it is productive and not locked into obsessive or compulsive behavior that in turn can lead to anxiety if not balanced out. This however requires a great deal of self-awareness. Being self-aware means looking at things you might not want to see. Not only seeing those things but taking action to change them, as a session with us might release powerful energy, it is the change you make in your daily life that leads to sustained healing.

Feel free to contact us for more information regarding a consultation

Putting Your Back Into It

 

In normal play outside of a therapeutic session we might like to go hard, but in breaking the psychic walls down we are only using those tools we picked in recreational dungeons and applying them on a case-by-case basis in the most effective manner.  Up to this point we have focused on how we might apply this to a submissive, does this mean the dominants among us do not deserve healing or have to tough it out? Top Space is a more focused flow or the flow state artists work in. Many artists are also bipolar, and the flow exists in the manic swing. There can be a balance here, and part is showing up willing to work on that balance, productive but not in an obsessive or compulsive behavior space that if left unchecked builds into anxiety if not balanced out. 

 

If you are a top, we do not have time for me to teach you how to use all of your toys or how to be proficient with them. It is a good idea if you are topping to make yourself a target of some kind to practice on. That way you are not practicing on a living breathing person. There are plenty of videos on Youtube. I cannot advocate for the ones who look like they are twirling glow sticks at a rave rather than trying to hurt someone. 

 

Communication is always key, when we are first working with someone who will walk them through the level of pain to find what is going to be the one best of the situation. Give a light swat then stop to explain. 

 

“That was me at a 2, do you want me to dial it up or are you fine there for now?” 

  

 

Putting your back into a good session and breaking a sweat can prove to be a good work out. It's a good idea to get into shape before you begin this rather than using it as your sole means of exercise. If you do not, then you are not bringing your best self to the situation. The warmup phase of stretching is not just for the bottom, use stretching them to stretch yourself.  Unless you are seeking our coaching service, we are not laying out a plan of fitness for you. As a bottom in protocol, it is just as much the responsibility of the top to deliver what you are agreeing to. This means proper conditioning.

 

 How you take care of yourself is a reflection of who you are. Sure, this is one method of self-care, but the physical is just as important. Even as little as 20 minutes of exercise 3 times a week will make a difference. If you cannot make that kind of a commitment to yourself then you are not disciplined enough to stick with this either. I would focus on getting to a place where you can do that rather than doing a disservice to a prospective partner in this arena. 

 

“Wait don’t body shame me, it’s not fault...insert excuse xy & z “ 

 

How do you know? What effort have you put into changing? Do you watch what you eat and exercise, yet still find yourself in your current condition?  In this case it might be worth consulting a physician as there might be a more serious health issue. As with any fitness routine with this program you should make sure to consult a physician if you have had past injuries or health issues that make strenuous activities a risk. Anyone who tries to hide behind screams of calling people ableists, is nothing but an enabler, who would rather co-sign unhealthy behavior than seek the betterment of themselves and others. We are not here to coddle. This is a program of action.