Touch

 One useful tool in BDSM is massage as a ritualistic form of foreplay. Massage breaks down the soft tissue. Tissue is not mindless, tissue is full of sensations, full of feelings, and old memories. Fascia is rich with sensory nerves, more so than any other tissue in the body. Releasing fascia awakened the body’s sensations. This drops you from your head and into the body. Moving from the past into the present.  So we are not getting involved in the stories behind the trauma that comes up, not playing therapist. Getting stuck in our stories keeps us trapped in the past we want to free the energy reconcile le the past with the present and move forward. . 

Moving forward is the only way to fully integrate emotional trauma (especially those arising as a result of child abuse, sexual assault, or combat-related injuries). For someone new to healthy touch, starting with Shiatsu techniques, or even non-touching therapies such as Therapeutic Touch, Reiki or other energy work can be very helpful. As time progresses, Cranial-Sacral techniques, Polarity Therapy, and Swedish massage can be used. As the person is more attuned to their body, modalities such as Trigger Point Massage, Rolfing, and Feldenkrais Movement Re-education can be used as well.  I obviously can not cover all massage types here. There are resources online. 

We do recommend going one level less deep and hard as you are comfortable going, as you are not a certified massage therapist. I how an empathic sense of touch where I can typically find the places that need pressure. Perhaps you do as well. The only way to develop this is to massage as often as you get the chance this will not only strengthen your forearms and hands but train this sense. 

Compromised mental health has been linked to general aches and malaise, along with acute pain, inflammatory issues, and more. While trauma requires memory reconsolidation, trauma survivors are often in a state of hyperarousal or hypervigilance. This causes them to be flooded with cortisol. massage decreases cortisol production and releases serotonin and dopamine. Massage increases circulation, and relieves pain and tension. 

 

  Normally we are most aware of our sense of touch when we feel pain. Our sense of touch is always working we are seldom present enough to notice and take it for granted. Touch is the first sense and the embryo develops. Touch deprivation increases our stress levels. It can change our brain chemistry and cause depression. We have an innate ability to decode emotions through touch alone. Not surprising since it was one of the first ways we learned communication as babies even before we could speak. Being held comforted use. Pain or a squeeze from the parent could serve as a warning.  Even a back rub can raise oxytocin levels, Massage is a very effective manner of foreplay as it relaxes and bonds. Massage and hugs can be seen as a giving of ourselves when we are gaining as much as the person receiving the touch.