Meat of the Matter

 As we progress further in this exploration you are going to see us use the word “top” as a term to describe the dominant role. This does not like in gay culture refer to who is on top in the sexual sense. Any of my partners will confirm that even if they are on top of me during sex I am still in control.   I don't like the term “ Dom” . It carries an  ego centered energy. Most of this comes from the social context it is now used in thanks to sites like Fetlife. Using it to bolster an inflated macho sense of self seems childish to me.

We have heard all the negative experiences regarding would be "doms" . I heard many from girls I have dated who have all typically had an interest in BDSM or a past  a boyfriend who was into it to some degree , more often than not calling himself a dom, normally they turned out to have only dabbled in impact play.  When exposed to a different reality of what BDSM could be they found they might not be ready for that or not as into it as they thought. I had one person say to me “I feel bad because I want to be that girl for you who does that “ 

I prefer everyone to be themselves. If you are not sure who you are then do some sightseeing. A Wartenberg wheel might be as intense as it gets for you. Maybe your thing is tickling , it is not in my definition of BDSM unless restraints are used then a lighter form of torture. It might not be in the realm of play in my world But if that is where your inclinations go then follow that. 

There are things not listed on our screener . Golden showers are not included on it. If this is the form of debasement you need then include it on your sheet. There are plenty of people in this world who will partake of that with you. We are not using that as a tool here in this program, unless we are doing a shower scene in personal time. It is not permitted in the dungeons I work in either. If asked why I normally tell them if we let one body fluid out of the bag then we will have to let them all out. Color me a prude. 

As a top I think it is useful to fill out a screener for yourself, it’s almost like menu of services offered. I will fill one out later to demonstrate this. I can be a useful tool for bottoms to with their tops with. One thing Fetlife is useful for is allowing you to post a dictionary of your kink and proclivities . It is as a useful way of having that information out there to potential play partners to see if interests align. 

To receive a screen feel free to contact us at wcifer@gmail.com or via our Facebook page , thank you and happy beatings to you all.