Having always been left of center, this mission makes sense as it takes someone left of center to present a concept like this. As recently as the 1950s psychiatry was thought of as a new fleeting form of medicine that was just a fruitcake trend to the normal populace of the time. That makes this an even more stigmatized form of treatment though none less valid. The problem for most people is we are taking a stigmatized culture and applying it as the solution to a stigmatized problem. Not only that but it is being brought to you by an ex-drug addict pagan who dresses up in leather and beats people for his kicks.
This is nothing new as I have spent my life as the square peg for round holes. Yes, you with the dirty mind I can hear you snickering at that metaphor. All of my interests are making me a marginalized outsider. BDSM and my bi-polar disorder are only the tip of the iceberg. I am into horror movies a satanic heavy metal, I grew up immersed in goth culture, too goth for the metal kids and too metal for the goth kids. As an adult I still read comic books, watch horror movies and play Dungeons & Dragons though all the above is seeing a comeback as the geeks are inheriting the earth, built most of my life they have made me an acquired taste,
My daughter took to wearing a wolf tail and her mother became concerned. She not only thought this would lead her to grow up and become a furry, but what would the other children think? To which I replied who cares? It is not like I was not a kid before with the same adjustment issues. I think it builds character. Granted I was a decent sized kid who knew how to fight. I did not carry myself as someone to bully. There were perhaps a few words about my long hair, I do not think these are any of the things that caused my fists to fly. I think this also made me a champion of the loners. The takeaway here is that people can only see you as a stigmatized group if you let them. My therapist Sand who I told you I would reference throughout once said to me
'' We train people how we want them to treat us”
This is not to say take a cue from teenage me and break out into fisticuffs. Though I AM Not going to pass judgement on you if it does come down to this. If you. If you do not care about what you think then your actions and the way you carry yourself in turn show them this. You are less drawn into their field of gravity as you would not give them the reaction, they are seeking in the first place. My friend who is an elderly black man was around for stonewall and the Studio 51 days. When the topic of gay marriage came up he said
“I do not see what the big deal is. If you want to get married go ahead and you do it. Why make a big show of it? Who cares what other people think, there is no need to make a scene about you and your partner or are you just trying to get approval? "
Do not engage in bdsm for the approval of your partner. Nor should you no pursue this if your partner doesn't approve of it as there are other people in the world that might need this connection. Perhaps they are married to someone with this attitude. It does not have to be a sexual thing, in fact if you make it one then it goes to show you are not getting your needs met in other areas of the relationship either, If thi is a topic that brings up resentments then there is an even bigger problem and they might not be the right partner for you, Sure relationships are about compromise , but that compromise is not compromising who you are. That is not love. They love the idea of you not who you really are. This should not be something that brings up jealousy.
“But it is only human to have jealousy, in fact it is healthy”
It is not healthy to try and allow your insecurities to stand in the way of someone trying to follow their true path to healing. This is not for everyone. But if it is for you then it is a must to have a supportive partner that knows this has nothing to do with them, except for the fact that by allowing you to strive towards being the most usefully whole version of yourself you are supporting the relationship as a whole.
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