Getting Deeper

 

We hope you are not just here for the orgasm, since there is more to a scene than that, and at its core BDSM has nothing to do with sex. At least not how it is thought of in the vanilla world as a purely physical act with less energy than what is seen on an episode of Animal Planet. We are going further than that here since in our last installment  We have reviewed the science behind orgasm let's look at the big picture and how it applies to what we are doing here since I hope you are not just here for orgasms. Research tells us endorphins are responsible for feelings of peacefulness, living in the here & now that mimic the meditative experience. This causes blood flow to alter the region of the brain responsible for control & working memory. The prefrontal cortex is associated with directed attention, temporal integration, and working memory. A Deficit in working memory means less abstract thinking, less access to memory, less self-reflective consciousness, and poor cognitive function. This leads to an altered state of consciousness, which, in S&M, transcends to one of focus and enjoyment. The Limbic and paralimbic systems equate emotions. Researchers say this tranquility felt is due to a lack of blood flow to the area. As discussed earlier the most common studies of bdsm show this is why they see participants feeling less anxious and less depressed.

In the context of a scene, endorphins Reduce a person’s sensitivity to pain, raising the pain threshold. Adrenaline is produced by the body’s reaction to pain. Endorphin loads release in their entirety- takes about 10 minutes to generate another load release. This factors in what we are doing here in terms of pacing.  The body needs about 10 minutes of some sort of stimulation before another release: sensation play, light paddling, flogging, light caning. This does not need to be nearly the intensity of the stimulation that caused the initial release of the last endorphin load. An increase in stimulation over 5 minutes up to a measured climax will trigger the body to release a freshly prepared load based on the submissive’s current pain threshold

Measured to push them over a new edge.

At the onset of the scene, the bottom is not going to have any endorphins and even fairly light torment is very stingy, ouchy & painful. The body keeps an endorphin load in reserve,

ready in case of an emergency, which is released after just a few minutes of relatively MILD

stimulation, building to a mild CLIMAX. Suddenly, the pain threshold rises

Subs can easily tolerate what may have been pushing the limits of what they could handle previously. They might have been more jumpy and squirming before. The new, more pain-tolerant state is LEVEL ONE. They have not yet achieved the altered state of consciousness There is an increase in pain threshold. In the New Year, we will go into phase two, as look at this form continuously deeper levels. If you have questions regarding this or anything else we do here feel free to message Please have questions in mind or a direction in which you would like your information to come from,  as “Hey, what’s up? I want to get sexy with you, is not going to get a response.

The Science of the Female Orgasm

 We are digging back into the science of sex. This is coming from a strictly scientific model, so the actual physiology of gender, not how you identify.  The female orgasm requires both psychic and local stimuli. Their thinking leads to desire, rather than a male you just show them an ass or whatever they are into.  The female Sex drive is proportionate to the level of sex hormones secreted. Their desire changes during the monthly cycle peaking during times closer to ovulation due to high levels of estrogen. Physical stimulation required is similar to males in that it requires Massage and other stimulation to the vulva, vagina, and other perineal organs that can create sexual sensations. The glans of the clitoris are especially sensitive. Transmit to Sacral segments of the spinal cord via the Pudendal nerve and Sacral Plexus They are transmitted from the spinal cord to the cerebrum. The frontal area is responsible for the integration of complex sensory and neural functioning. This initiates and coordinates voluntary activity in the body. Local reflexes integrated into the sacral and lumbar spinal cord are partly responsible for some reactions in female sex organs.

The female erectile tissue located around the introitus and extending into the clitoris is almost identical to the male erectile tissue. Controlled by the Pudendal Nerve as it passes from the Sacral Plexus to the external genitalia. Parasympathetic Nervous System dilates arteries of erectile tissue and Releases Acetylcholine, Nitrous Oxide, and Vasoactive Intestinal Polypeptide to the nerve endings.

Introitus (Vaginal opening) tightens around the penis for ejaculation. The parasympathetic nerve signal passes to bilateral Bartholin Glands & Skene’s Glands. Bartholin is located beneath the labia minora, posteriorly. This explains how some women can orgasm from anal sex. Skene’s glands are located anteriorly at the entrance causing them to secrete mucus immediately into the introitus This also causes lubrication during intercourse along with mucus from the vaginal epithelium. I am sure most of you know that if no lubrication is present there is irritation provoked by dry vagina. Optimal stimulation evokes appropriate reflexes that culminate in both partners climaxing. When supported by psychic conditioning signals from cerebrum reflexes are engaged to trigger orgasm.

During orgasm, Perineal muscles contract rhythmically not unlike the spinal cord reflexes that cause male ejaculation. Impulses increase uterine and fallopian tube motility to help transport sperm upwards through the uterus to the ovum. Orgasm seems to cause dilation of the cervical canal for up to 30 minutes this allows for easy transport of sperm. Oxytocin is released during orgasm to induce “bonding” sensation. 

Now that we have fully explored the science end we will look at the bigger picture in the next installment. Feel free to contact us regarding any pertinent questions..

Freeing the Mind Part 2

 Let’s pick up where we left off in our discussion of how science backs up our theories. We were in the process of discussing chemical responses, and one of the most important chemicals when it comes to BDSM is Oxytocin.  Oxytocin is the bonding chemical. Where adrenaline is fight or flight this is the collect and protect response. . Released during breastfeeding to help the pink squealing aliens we call babies become more adorable in our eyes when they are greedy poop machines with little in the way of other survival skills accepting being seen as cute. The fight or flight response is part of the sympathetic nervous system. This is ignited by stingy sensations like whips where dull thuddy sensations trigger the parasympathetic nervous systems. Thuddy is a paddle and floggers have more blunt force. Perhaps you might see where we are going here. Trust us this science is not boring and we promise there is going to be a payoff worth sticking around for. 

A point of note when it comes to arousal is the fact that the  Sacral Parasympathetic fibers are in the pelvic nerves. This supplies nerves to the external genitals that cause erections. Now you are paying attention again. Speaking of erections, the Most important source of sensory nerve signals for initiating the male sex act is the glans penis Which is the head. This is why when performing fellatio focusing on it is important, who cares about deep throating as the shaft is not where the nerves are being engaged and just like most things that look good in porn there are no real life practically to their effectiveness.

 You might have experienced how slippery massaging action stimulates sensory end organs. This sends the signal through the Pudendal nerve, then the Sacral Plexus into the sacral portion of the spinal cord, and finally up to the brain. The tensing of the ass and stiffening of the body are the signs of impending orgasm. The anal canal, scrotum and perineum transmit these,  There is a paradox here as while just thinking about sex can cause ejaculation, such as nocturnal emissions the brain is not needed for sex. With enough stimulation, ejaculation can occur even if the spinal column has been severed. The degree of erection is in proportion to the degree of stimulation. So for all you size queens, you gotta put the work in too. 

In male sex parasympathetic causes lubrication or pre cum. Without lubrication, there is little chance of success.  Emissions and ejaculation are processes of the sympathetic nervous system. The signal passes to genital organs through the hypogastric and pelvic sympathetic nerve plexus to initial emission (forerunner of ejaculation). The filling of penis activates sensory signals via the pudendal nerves to sacral regions. This excites with rhythmical contraction until Ejaculation.  In hetero sex This occurs while rhythmic contraction of pelvic muscles and body/trunk muscles cause thrusting of the pelvis and penis into the deepest part of the vagina and possibly the cervix. Normally this causes resolution within one to two minutes. I personally find in a hypomanic state I am able to maintain the erection and cum repeatedly after this, 

On the flip side erectile dysfunction can be caused by neurological problems such as trauma to the Trauma to Pudendal nerve and prostate surgery. Things like low testosterone and vascular problems over the age of 40 are factors as well. These vascular problems include uncontrolled hypertension, diabetes, Atherosclerosis, and Reduced ability of blood vessels to dilate due to decreased Nitrous Oxide.

We will continue soon enough in part 3 , thanks for reading. In the meantime if you have questions or would like a consultation feel free to drop us a message. 

The Truth of the Community

 The world is a troubled and divided place right now. That is if you choose to participate in engaging the popular mindsets of the day. This had begun to infect the BDSM community even back in 2017, one of our good Doctor was talking to an owner of a Dungeon in Alabama, who made a comment to the effect  that people who were not of his political leaning should not be at conventions like Frolicon. To which the good Doctor replied, that perhaps the people this man disliked needed the therapeutic value of his as much as he did, adding that BDSM should be open to all people regardless of their political or personal views, after one can not ask for a safe space that excludes others or the are just as guilty of marginalizing other as they have felt marginalized. 

We have also heard complaints that certain groups are not equally represented at events , which we pointed out perhaps it is because of cultural differences. Particularly in cultures where religion plays a hug role in community. Perhaps it is not the picture of a politically correct utopia you hoped for, but the facts are the facts and the real world does not always align with your idealistic view of it. So we steer clear of social or political positions as to be honest, most of us here at Sub-Space Station believe politics are as real as professional wrestling so while we try to stay informed, we do not invest much mental space into which puppet is having their strings pulled. 

We do however take a stand when certain organizations try  to push politics or personal agendas aligned with how they have invested their public persona trying to adhere to popular narratives. This is why we pulled out of our appearance at Frolicon in Atlanta, and are not planning to partner with them until they can assure us they are no longer engaging in such behavior, which chances are they will instead double down and we will deal with other conventions less compelled to do this. The most recent incident involved requiring proof of vaccination after COVID has been in the rear view for over a year. This means you are not concerned for anyone's safety your are choosing to alienate members of the community, while preaching body autonomy in every other regard. 

Granted Frolicon has never been big on wanting to focus on mental health and siding with the hedonistic party naked crowd, which we are not opposed to partying, as long as it is not done in a addictive or self destructive manner, but at the end of the day you can ingest whatever chemicals you choose be it cocaine or a vaccine the choice is your as an adult. You accept the consequences or doing so or not doing so. This means we also get to reserve the right to make the same choices. We do see health as being a concern in the community only when it's convenient. We witnessed a great deal of preaching a-top soapboxes from people who have allowed their physical states to decline from alcohol consumption or self medicating with junk food, which is there choice, but if they are leading a lifestyle that is ineffective from a health perspective how seriously should their point of view be taken in that regard. It's like a personal trainer who does not work out themselves. 

The reason we bring this up is to clarify what we are looking for in the attitudes and outlooks of people we are working with, we welcome everyone as long as they have a sincere desire to do the work. Political beliefs do not matter to us, what does is commitment to doing the work to be healthier mentally and physically. We have turned away potential prospects, because they need to get healthier physically, be it diet or exercise before they dig into the work we are doing here. It's not to exclude anyone but you can't get into the 2nd grade without making it through Kindergarten and first grade. If you have questions regarding what we do and would like free Zoom consultation , feel free to contact us, but be aware there is a screening process to see if you are in the best place to start with this phase of development. 

Freeing the Mind

 We are outlining a 13 phase program of interactive exercises aimed at meeting the previously stated objectives. The end goal being to  reunite all the broken pieces of yourself into a person that is whole and empowered. This will either allow the whole person to feel safe enough to submit another or allow themselves to take power back and take control. We will most commonly talk from the perspective of a top., but since these are two very different sides, each of the 13 phases will be outlined in a way that shows both sides the submissive/ bottom or the dominant / top. Are there variations of this like switches and power bottoms? Yes . You might feel free to identify yourself as one. The objective here is to be direct and honest with what you want when communicating with others in this setting .It will be up to you to pick which one you want to try. If you want to try both, that is your business, We will not  yuck any ones yum. What matters most is you do it.  

We have had  partners who liked the idea of BDSM in theory or the fantasy of, but when it was actually applied the reality was not something they could swing. Our teenage selves might have called these people  poseurs. Perhaps that is not totally off base. This is the only time we are going to bring this book up. Most people in the lifestyle meet the mention  with eye rolls and snickering.But , thanks to the thing that was “ 50 Shades of Gray” , for a couple years there were a good deal of tourists floating through this world .

Everyone has an entry point. That book and the rather shoddy movies that followed are now almost forgotten about. There is always going to be something that puts this back into the public spotlight. At times  while dating in the vanilla world we feel like we are being used as  BDSM stunt cocks / or pussies  for these pedestrians. Nothing is going to save your time like clicking the cuffs and seeing who is serious

Just as the next subject might send some of you running off , but it can not be avoided. We could tell you all of the different boxes we might be qualified to check off when it comes to defining our  spiritual pat. The terms pagan and occultist are the most accurate. We have looked at things  from a psychological perspective now we are going to look at them from a metaphysical one. It would not be honest if we did not tell you we  approach this more often than not as a magic ritual.

  Before you shun the  word magic , replace it with the term  focused intention .This is a ritual of focused intention. We are  not going to try to sell you on the fact that magic is just undiscovered science used to focus our intention. IWe are not here to push religion , but to expand thinking. The brain is the biggest sex organ and from this point on the focus is going to be engaging it.

This would all just be good in theory unless we have science to back up what we are going for here. We are also modifying  some of the time frames that will be outlined here when it comes to BDSM sessions with the focus being on stimulating this response.  Best place to start in regards to the science of the human body would be the  central nervous system .It processes both pleasure and pain. There are 45 miles of  nerves in a human body making it an information highway. Since there is so much information being received , 99 percent of sensory input is discarded by the brain. Input has to excite the brain enough for it to sort it into the integrative or motor functions . The spinal cord is the information highway sending things to and from the body. Controlling reflex responses. In the brain the 3 major levels of the central nervous system are. 

The lower brain - subcortical level . Here along with the medulla we have the hypothalamus where things like breathing, sexual satisfaction and emotional responses are handled. Then the thalamus which renders sensory information and pain perception . Cerebellum coordinates motor/ muscular activity. Basal ganglia, while it handles motor learning and emotions if damaged it creates anhedonia and the inability to experience pleasure.

The Cortical level is the higher brain. This is a large storehouse of memory. It always functions with the lower centers of the brain. Where thought processing takes place. It is divided into four lobes, the frontal, parietal, temporal and occipital. Somatic sense are the mechanoreceptors. Sense position and tactile sensations. Touch is immediately beneath , all the above help us process pain

There are different types of pain fast and slow. Fast is at .1 seconds reaction time increases slowly. It consists of things like electric shock. Burns sharps cuts  skin, pressure , vibration, tickle, itch very sensitive . Slow takes a second or more to respond. Morre chronic, the aches and throbs associated with tissue destruction. Can lead to prolonged suffering. Occurs in skin, tissue or organ. Three types of pain stimulate the receptors. Mechanical , thermal and chemical. All three are slow nerves .  

Endorphins released by the brain and the central nervous system are going to play a large role. They are peptides released to activate the body’s opioid receptors in order to create an analgesic state, conscious but not in pain.  Dopamine is a neurotransmitter . They are the reward system. How we are wired to carry on the species. Get rewards for social interaction and rewards for reproduction. In the fight or  flight response the reproductive system increases as it is programmed to ensure the survival of the species.  Though in many cases this can turn into just rewarding ourselves in front of our computers This creates pathways so that action will be repeated to get more reward. You can see where addiction can stem from this . Too much of a good thing can occur as too much dopamine creates delusions, losing touch with reality and lack of emotion. In part two of this study we will tie this together for you so keep reading !

Bound by Actions

 We are going to talk about bdsm as a tool of healing. This requires intention and not just  doing things just because they feel good. That is a surface level band aid. This will require us to look at our roles in our lives and ask … how is this working for me ? Is this working ? 

If something is not working, why do we do it ? Here lies the essence of compulsion. It does not care about the end result. That is why we go back to ineffective behavior even after the consequences of these actions tell us they are not working. We become obsessed with the very act. That does sound a lot like a fetish. The difference is a fetish has the power we give it. A compulsion takes power from us. We are making different choices to take back the power.

That sounds good in theory you say , but not everyone has that kind of willpower or resolve. They might not be as strong as you, maybe they do not know better. If you are reading this you now  know better.  If we use David Bowie as the bullseye musicians should aim for then it is reasonable to expect others will at least try to make music of his quality. This is under the notion that all people are created equal. As equals David Bowie would have  no other advantage at the base level than any other musician. He made music for 40 years and never made an album that was not what he set out to do or  did not stand up against his body of work. You can make the excuse that it's David Bowie  and it is not fair to compare others to him. If everyone is created equal then he was just a man, another human who harnessed his talents to do so . He just did so with more focus and intention than the next flop from the flavor of the day. 

You can do that in your life if you stop making excuses. There is a saying in 12 step culture that says “ If you are sick and tired  of being sick and tired you can try our way of life.a chance.

We are going to outline a  13 phase program of interactive exercises aimed at meeting the previously stated objectives . This will reunite  all the broken pieces of yourself into a person that is whole and empowered to either allow themselves to submit another or allow themselves to take power back and take control. We are going to commonly talk about this from the perspective of a top, but since these are two very different sides, each of the 13 phases will be outlined in a way that shows both sides the submissive/ bottom or the dominant / top. Are there variations of this like switches and power bottoms? Yes but the objective here is to be direct and honest with what you want when communicating with others in this setting so it will be up to you to pick which one you want to try. If you want to try both that is your business and we try not to yuck any ones yum. What matters most is you do it. 

Leashing the Freak

 Engaging in acts society might view as deviant behavior creates certain stigmas. Granted this is if you care about what society thinks of you which we are not really invested in .We do care about living effective lives. An effective life has a high degree of self awareness. Being aware of our behavior enough to ask is this something I am really into or is occurring because I am  bi-polar , thus causing me to  have a higher chance of engaging in risky sexual behaviors ,  Much like the drug addicts and alcoholics are self medicating their own issues. There are some these days who say to suggest such as gas lighting Just because someone is a medical professional it does not mean that they might have ulterior motives or factors influencing them, like drug companies. Gaslighting has become a word that has become easy to hide behind when people do not want to look at their side of the street and do the work. 

 “What you mean I have to do work, I thought I could just get tied up and it would solve all my problems” 

The  system of therapeutic BDSM we are offering here, is not a replacement for a psychiatrist or being properly medicated . It is also highly recommended processing  other issues with a therapist. This is only meant to supplement your existing mental health treatment. 

It might come  as a disappointment to someone if you have not found an easy fix to their problems through a more conventional means. If  you assumed this would be the easier way. It is not, but it might be one that resonates strongly for you where other methods have not.. It is a fun way if you think of it in terms of  dressing up in leather and putting a ball gag in your partner’s mouth. The funny thing about life is you get out of it whatever you put into it. There is no return without a big investment  

Even meds are not a magic bullet. They give you just enough gas to make it up the on ramp to life, the rest of the driving is up to you  and the actions you take. We all work on our recovery here by doing things like  going to the gym, self regulating sleep and  being mindful of the kinds of things we ingest. In the majority of the 12 step programs the commitment is to the fact you can not use a certain substance. This is inverted. We are committing to empower ourselves. We are going to  make our lives manageable  by using this outlet. 

If you are an S type used to turning power over ,  the other 12 steps saying “Surrender to Win applies here”. That is not a blind faith in whomever has DOM on their Fetlife profile. Instead, one of the things you need to learn is to raise the bar  and expect people to know what they are doing . If they are not willing to sit down and work out things like protocol with you and communicate .if not you need to able to decide that you deserve more than just someone using BDSM as a way to get laid

No Pain No Gain

 The  goal here is to reunite you with yourself. Perhaps you are hoping it will enrich your romantic relationships and open new doors of intimacy. It might do those things, but only as a side effect. Your relationship with others is contingent on the relationship with yourself. If you feel like you are in the passenger seat of your body while your illness drives you through a haze, how can you expect to be present enough for intimacy of any kind?  What we are shooting for is to feel at home in your own body. To feel present in your own skin rather than lost in a dissociative state. 

 This will hopefully  lead to adopting healthy sexual paradigms. In our experience BDSM is very grounding . The interaction helps to rebuild trust that years of fear based living can destroy. This however is not a kinder or gentler path. If you want to be coddled and told how sorry we are about your situation you are in the wrong place.

We are offering a new perspective in approaching trauma and mental illness. This requires saying things  not being said in the community at present, that need to be. In 2023 people seem to get their feelings when presented with concepts that do not neatly fall in line with the comfortable bubble of the paradigm they exist in. Going forward all girls and boys need to put on their adult undies , as there is  No Pain No Gain . 

      ; 

This was made  clear to our founder who was sitting on a panel  l at a kink convention. A so-called kink educator shot down the idea of Protocol. She said it would scare away new people. In truth in our consent based culture it needs to be the first thing  discussed once into the nuts and bolts of bdsm. If the curious and inexperienced are not shown how to engage in BDSM in a way that is safe , sane and consensual, we will find ourselves lone perverts. Today's scene tends to pander to political correctness with little  blunt honesty in fear of upsetting tender souls. And the thin skinned . Fuck your feelings , who cares if they are hurt . Here is how it is. Without it the entire concept of BDSM is threatened.. 

 One of the things not often discussed in the kink community is  the stigma of mental health. Many avoid this. It delves into  the preexisting  feelings of guilt and shame . It might smash the  heavily invested illusion that they are well adjusted .WeI know very few well adjusted people. We  find it hard to believe that your average gimp is.  Most quotes regarding BDSM studies are trying to point in the direction they are normal , well adjusted people. Studies performed by PHD students who are into BDSM and this is the narrative they want to defend. Not to say even the majority of people who engage in it are troubled. But we need to look inward to be aware of why you do what you do. This is the core of what we do here, please contact us to set up a consultation or for more information.