Leashing the Freak

 Engaging in acts society might view as deviant behavior creates certain stigmas. Granted this is if you care about what society thinks of you which we are not really invested in .We do care about living effective lives. An effective life has a high degree of self awareness. Being aware of our behavior enough to ask is this something I am really into or is occurring because I am  bi-polar , thus causing me to  have a higher chance of engaging in risky sexual behaviors ,  Much like the drug addicts and alcoholics are self medicating their own issues. There are some these days who say to suggest such as gas lighting Just because someone is a medical professional it does not mean that they might have ulterior motives or factors influencing them, like drug companies. Gaslighting has become a word that has become easy to hide behind when people do not want to look at their side of the street and do the work. 

 “What you mean I have to do work, I thought I could just get tied up and it would solve all my problems” 

The  system of therapeutic BDSM we are offering here, is not a replacement for a psychiatrist or being properly medicated . It is also highly recommended processing  other issues with a therapist. This is only meant to supplement your existing mental health treatment. 

It might come  as a disappointment to someone if you have not found an easy fix to their problems through a more conventional means. If  you assumed this would be the easier way. It is not, but it might be one that resonates strongly for you where other methods have not.. It is a fun way if you think of it in terms of  dressing up in leather and putting a ball gag in your partner’s mouth. The funny thing about life is you get out of it whatever you put into it. There is no return without a big investment  

Even meds are not a magic bullet. They give you just enough gas to make it up the on ramp to life, the rest of the driving is up to you  and the actions you take. We all work on our recovery here by doing things like  going to the gym, self regulating sleep and  being mindful of the kinds of things we ingest. In the majority of the 12 step programs the commitment is to the fact you can not use a certain substance. This is inverted. We are committing to empower ourselves. We are going to  make our lives manageable  by using this outlet. 

If you are an S type used to turning power over ,  the other 12 steps saying “Surrender to Win applies here”. That is not a blind faith in whomever has DOM on their Fetlife profile. Instead, one of the things you need to learn is to raise the bar  and expect people to know what they are doing . If they are not willing to sit down and work out things like protocol with you and communicate .if not you need to able to decide that you deserve more than just someone using BDSM as a way to get laid

No Pain No Gain

 The  goal here is to reunite you with yourself. Perhaps you are hoping it will enrich your romantic relationships and open new doors of intimacy. It might do those things, but only as a side effect. Your relationship with others is contingent on the relationship with yourself. If you feel like you are in the passenger seat of your body while your illness drives you through a haze, how can you expect to be present enough for intimacy of any kind?  What we are shooting for is to feel at home in your own body. To feel present in your own skin rather than lost in a dissociative state. 

 This will hopefully  lead to adopting healthy sexual paradigms. In our experience BDSM is very grounding . The interaction helps to rebuild trust that years of fear based living can destroy. This however is not a kinder or gentler path. If you want to be coddled and told how sorry we are about your situation you are in the wrong place.

We are offering a new perspective in approaching trauma and mental illness. This requires saying things  not being said in the community at present, that need to be. In 2023 people seem to get their feelings when presented with concepts that do not neatly fall in line with the comfortable bubble of the paradigm they exist in. Going forward all girls and boys need to put on their adult undies , as there is  No Pain No Gain . 

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This was made  clear to our founder who was sitting on a panel  l at a kink convention. A so-called kink educator shot down the idea of Protocol. She said it would scare away new people. In truth in our consent based culture it needs to be the first thing  discussed once into the nuts and bolts of bdsm. If the curious and inexperienced are not shown how to engage in BDSM in a way that is safe , sane and consensual, we will find ourselves lone perverts. Today's scene tends to pander to political correctness with little  blunt honesty in fear of upsetting tender souls. And the thin skinned . Fuck your feelings , who cares if they are hurt . Here is how it is. Without it the entire concept of BDSM is threatened.. 

 One of the things not often discussed in the kink community is  the stigma of mental health. Many avoid this. It delves into  the preexisting  feelings of guilt and shame . It might smash the  heavily invested illusion that they are well adjusted .WeI know very few well adjusted people. We  find it hard to believe that your average gimp is.  Most quotes regarding BDSM studies are trying to point in the direction they are normal , well adjusted people. Studies performed by PHD students who are into BDSM and this is the narrative they want to defend. Not to say even the majority of people who engage in it are troubled. But we need to look inward to be aware of why you do what you do. This is the core of what we do here, please contact us to set up a consultation or for more information.